'[I'm] struggling with the feeling of guilt': Pawrent’s precious cat passes over the rainbow bridge, but life presents them with a friend’s forgotten cat giving them both a fresh feline start

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jun 3, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Four months after the painful loss of a beloved indoor cat to cancer, this cat lover is grappling with an emotional dilemma. A friend's cat, once cherished, has been pushed aside since the arrival of a new baby. She's now confined mostly to the kitchen or left outdoors, met with shouting if she tries to come inside. It's clear the cat is no longer getting the love or attention she needs, and the poster is heartbroken watching her live this way.

The thought of taking her in is tempting, especially since the cat was mostly an indoor pet before, but the timing feels complicated. Not only is the grief of losing a pet still fresh, but the cat's recent outdoor lifestyle raises concerns. Would it be cruel to transition her back to a life indoors, even with access to a catio? The poster worries about the cat's quality of life, and also about the emotional weight of adopting again so soon.

It's a tough, heartfelt situation to balance compassion, grief, and what's best for the cat. But the care and thought going into the decision already show the kind of home any animal would be lucky to have.

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  • 01
    'She's just having a miserable life and getting no love'
    via freestocks-photos from Pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Just as a bit of backstory, my beautiful cat who I loved more than anything passed away from cancer 4 months ago. She was an indoor cat - 2 reasons really, she already was indoor when I adopted her but I also am just not the kind of person that can deal with the stress of an outdoor cat (worrying about cars, other cats, going missing etc). She did have a catio so had supervised access to outside.
    via u/Kaylizinha
  • 03
    With it being so recent and painful I had absolutely no intention of getting another cat and so here is my dilemma. In what I'm sure is a very common story, someone I know had a baby and since then has just completely neglected their cat.
    via u/Kaylizinha
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10511855616
    via darrial / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    She's now only allowed in the kitchen where her food is and spends most of the time outdoors as if she gets in they shout at her and I think in general she's just having a miserable life and getting no love.
    via u/Kaylizinha
  • 06
    It's breaking my heart and my fiancé is saying we should ask to take her but where she spends so much time outdoors now I would feel awful turning her into an indoor cat. She would have access to the catio but wouldn't be able to roam freely like she does now. Before they had the
    via u/Kaylizinha
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10511855360
    via alabn / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    baby she spent 90% of her time indoors but I just worry that she's so used to being outside now that she'd hate being kept inside. Also really struggling with the feeling of guilt I'd have taking another cat in so soon after losing mine.
    via u/Kaylizinha
  • 09
    I would really appreciate any advice/thoughts - just to add we're obviously not 100% sure they would give her up but we know they've made comments about how they hope she'll go off one day and find somewhere else to live :(
    via u/Kaylizinha
  • 10
    Unt... Adopt the cat and keep her inside. Cat will adapt just fine. The catio is a lovely treat for the cat.
    via u/Unthwartable-Cynti

  • We’d absolutely love a catio. Fresh air, sunshine, and endless bird-watching without any of the danger? It’s the ultimate dream hangout spot for any kitty (and their lucky hoomans too)!

     

     

     

  • 11
    sooty_bear Indoor cats can be happy cats too :)
    via u/sooty_bear
  • 12
    Top-Peach-7422 No you'd be doing the proper thing actually. Any outdoor cat is invasive, they are not from here.
    via u/Top-Peach-7422
  • 13
    quokkaquarrel My dumpster cat has acclimated to being an indoor only kitty just fine.
    via u/quokkaquarrel
  • 14
    mushlove_brit710 Inside is the safest option. We have 9 cats inside all of them were strays. A couple were outside for more than 7/8 years. None try to leave. They are so content.
    via u/mushlove_brit710
  • 15
    Virtual-Win-7763 The cat will be safer indoors, and you've already mentioned a catio. That's definitely a bonus. Being inside doesn't mean sleeping or looking yearningly out of a window. all day. There's so much you'll be able to do for her to have a happy, active life.
    via u/Virtual-Win-7763

  • Keeping cats indoors is the safest choice. No cars, predators, or getting lost. With enrichment and love (maybe a catio!), they can live their best lives while staying safe and sound.

  • 16
    Most of all, the cat is going. to swap uncertainty and neglect for a loving home and likely a longer, healthier life. I've had outdoor cats that happily swapped to indoors, including the menace snoring by my side right now.
    via u/Virtual-Win-7763
  • 17
    The current owners wishing she'd wander off and find another home is chilling, they might as well have dumped her. The circumstances you've described aren't good for any cat, let alone a domesticated pet. If you can, take her in or get her to safety elsewhere.
    via u/Virtual-Win-7763
  • 18
    ImprovementLatte... My sister just had to do this, it's been about a month, and her cat is adapting very well. No one likes change, even cats, but you cat will have their family (you) and that's what's really needed
    via u/ImprovementLatter300
  • 19
    cavviecreature indoor cats can be very happy, especially since it sounds like you'll be able to give her love and attention she is currently lacking.
    via u/cavviecreature
  • 20
    MichaelsFormanGrill My cats were primarily indoors but we built a catio and they love it. Your cat will be okay having outdoor time in a catio and you'll have piece of mind.
    via u/MichaelsFormanGrill
  • 21
    Marsupialize A cat wants safety, comfort and food. That's it.
    via u/Marsupialize

  • Exactly! Safety, food, and comfort are the holy trinity of feline happiness. Toss in a sunny windowsill and the occasional dramatic zoomie, and you’ve got a purrfect setup.

  • 22
    mke75kate Being indoors with the catio with someone who actually loves her and wants her around is way better than always feeling like you're a nuisance, in trouble, or in the way. It's not mean, it's saving her from an unloved life.
    via u/mke75kate
  • 23
    mittenface I've had multiple cats who were former strays. Not one ever wanted to go back outside after being an inside cat. You will save that cat's life. Get her.
    via u/mittenface
  • 24
    Apprehensive Bat21 An adjusting loved indoor cat will be much better off than a neglected outdoor cat. You can try leash training and that catio should help alleviate any trapped feeling.
    via u/ApprehensiveBat21
  • 25
    opossumonmyporch Save this cat! You would be doing this cat a favor. It's been 4 months and although you still miss the cat that passed away, the shock of losing her is over. Regarding the cat being outside, it sounds like maybe she's forced to be outside by the owners. She may be thrilled
    via u/opossumonmyporch
  • 26
    to never be put outside again. I truly think it would bring you much happiness in caring for her. It will probably be a relief for the new parents. And you and your fiancé can enjoy getting to know this special creature. Do it! Please!
    via u/opossumonmyporch

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pets adopted advice cat owners feline Cats guilty rescue pawrents
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